Fashion allows you to craft your own image. You can essentially be whoever you want to be or project whatever image you wish out into the world. But what if your selection is the clothing equivalent of a multi-car pileup on the freeway? People get paid – sometimes big money – to design clothes. The late Karl Lagerfeld became a legend doing just that. The people who designed the following clothing items aren’t Karl Lagerfeld, though. They’re not Karl Lagerfeld’s cat. These are the worst fashion design fails.
Not very nice
Bobby McFerrin’s 1988 classic Don’t Worry, Be Happy is probably having you tapping your feet right now at the very mention of it. The song has a great message – don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff.
This shirt’s designers wanted to convey the very same message, but chose a very unfortunate placement for the words. “Don’t be happy, worry” is a message only Eeyore could get behind.
Carifornia, here we come
There are a few things tackier in this world than an “I (heart) NY” shirt. Every tourist trap store in the city sells them, and wearing one is basically broadcasting to the entire world, “Sure, go ahead and mug me.” This T-shirt, though? This T-shirt somehow managed to go a step beyond.
Even though there was zero reason to, they added the state New York City is in. But since googling it was too much work apparently, they gave it their best guess. So no, the Big Apple is not in California. And even if due to some recent agreement we’ve never heard about it was somehow moved there, it still wouldn’t be in “Carifornia.”
Just pick a lane
This “dress,” and we use that term incredibly loosely, was worn on the red carpet by actress and kiteboarder Maika Monroe. She deserves better. It appears like the fashion designers behind this mess couldn’t decide whether they were designing a dress or a pair of slacks, so they created a sort of hybrid that manages to be worse than both somehow.
It almost looks like it used to be a normal dress, but a cannonball was shot through it and took off most of the lower part. And you know what? We think Maika knows. Just look at how she’s turning her head as far away from her dress as possible, as if to say, “Yeah, I don’t know either.”
Missing some crucial information
This T-shirt is a perfect example of how an idea that’s awesome on paper can turn out horrible for the simplest, silliest of reasons. In this case, it’s not being able to tell the difference between AM and PM. It starts off well enough, with sleeping at 8:15am (who are you and can we have your life?), coffee at 10:05am, and a donut at 10:30am.
Then we get to noon, and things start to fall apart. Either the person wearing this shirt blacked out for eleven and a half hours until they woke up at five minutes past midnight and looked at their phone, or… You know what, we prefer to think it’s that.
Up where?
Once again, this is a design disaster not because it’s a bad idea, strictly speaking. In fact, it could’ve worked perfectly fine on a shirt, and we would’ve gotten a good chuckle out of it. But when you put the phrase “My eyes are up here” on a hat, and they are most definitely not up there (on most humans, at least), you’re only inviting questions you won’t be able to answer.
If you find yourself needing to be reminded where the eyes are placed on human beings, either you’re terrible at your job, you’re an alien, or both. Or maybe this hat was designed by crabs, for crabs, in which case disregard everything we just said – it’s fine.
Some water(mark) damage
If you’re a fashion designer, meaning that’s a job you get paid to do, stealing stock images should be out of bounds. “Rules are made to be broken,” said the person who designed this shirt with a lovely flower motif that they stole from Shutterstock.
How do we know? There’s really no need for Sherlock Holmes-style deduction here. It literally says “Shutterstock” in the watermark they forgot to remove. Best case scenario? The person wearing this is advertising the stock image service. Worst case, they become evidence in the trial.
Should we call for help?
This lovely pink T-shirt has an image of two cats, or at least what we imagine are cats. So far so good, right? Well, things take a turn for the worse when we examine the text below.
It manages to go a whole two words before starting to misspell words, while also throwing in words that don’t make sense in the context. We’re actually scared that the person in charge of selecting them got a seizure or something, because towards the second line it stops being words altogether.
Essentially wrong
This is probably the most avoidable design disaster in history. Listen, Gap, calling that T-shirt “The essential V-neck” was your decision. We didn’t make you do it. Once that decision was reached, you only needed to design the shirt with, y’know, an actual V-neck.
There’s thinking outside the box, and then there’s throwing the box from the roof of a building. This shirt may be many things. Plain? Sure. Overpriced? You betcha. But one thing it isn’t is a V-neck shirt, and it’s all your fault, Gap.
Jeansless jeans
Look, we know distressed and shredded jeans are all the rage right now. And while buying clothes that were manufactured and then intentionally ruined is a little perplexing, we can understand it. But this… this is a whole other ballgame.
We’re not sure what we’d call these – maybe “jeansless jeans” – but we are pretty sure wearing that would constitute indecent exposure in most states. At least the pockets are still intact, we guess. So you can put your subpoena in there nice and snug.
Isn’t this ironic?
If you asked Alanis Morissette, this is one of the definitions of irony. The shirt says “I’ll stop wearing black when a darker color comes along.” That’s edgy in a really limp-wristed sort of way, we suppose.
But then you realize that the text, while black, was printed on a completely white shirt. We can’t help but feeling that it somehow takes a little away from how pointed your message is, but what do we know? We’re not the ones buying mass-manufactured shirts to show what non-conformists we are.
The Avengers: Copyright Infringement Lawsuit
Comic book movies are the biggest thing in entertainment right now. Just look at the top ten highest grossing films of all-time. Four of them are comic book movies. And the films themselves are just the tip of the iceberg.
There’s tons of money in merchandising around these films. Toys, games, and – of course – clothes. It’s an empire. And this shirt is the district that no one likes to talk about. The shirt proudly displays the Avengers, featuring Spider-Man, Christian Bale’s Batman, and… a Na’vi from Avatar? Sure, why not.
A sinking feeling
We’re always up to expressing our individuality through our wardrobe choices. We can tell the world entire, “This is us, world. Take it or leave it.” And then the world says, “Yeah, I’ll leave it.” What a jerk. Anyway, this shirt, right?
It’s emblazoned with a nice drawing of an anchor, along with the inspirational caption “I refuse to sink.” Wait, what? You do realize that sinking to the bottom of the ocean floor is literally anchors’ only job, right?
But who’s counting?
A lot of bad decisions went into making this shirt. It’s supposed to look like a sports jersey, so they put a number on it. However, and we really can’t fathom why, the designers decided they needed to then spell out that number just above the digits.
Why? Again, we don’t know. But you know what? It still could’ve been fine if they had actually spelled out the number actually on the jersey. Twelve, thirteen – honestly, who’s counting?
Someone check on Mario
These Super Mario hoodies could have been the hottest ticket, shifting millions of units to fans of the most popular video game franchise of all-time. They could have, but they won’t. Why?
Because poor Mario here looks like he just went through explosive decompression or something. With the bulging eyes and the head that looks like it melted into a puddle, we’re not thinking “Give me eight!” as much as “Someone call 911 right this instant!”
A fundamental misunderstanding
Here again we have an extreme failure to understand a very basic concept. “Save water, drink coffee” this shirt advises anyone who sees it. But… You do know what coffee is brewed with, right? It’s not wine, we’ll say that much.
Other than sugar and maybe milk, literally the only other ingredient in coffee – other than coffee – is water. Without it, it’s just beans. If you don’t know that, we’re really having doubts as to how much you actually like coffee, Mr. Fashion Designer.
Us too
This is quite possibly the first time in the history of mankind anyone has referred to French fries as “hamberger’s friend.” Even if we ignore the fact that “hamburger” is misspelled, it’s a novel approach to this iconic side.
Looking further down, it says “I feel happiness when I eat a him.” Him who, the fries? Do they have a gender identity now? What a time to be alive. Last but not least, the drawing of the fries looks like it was done by a four-year-old on a sugar rush.
Due date-ception
Are you pregnant? Are you due in July? If you answered yes to both these questions, then have we got the shirt for you. First, it literally says “Due in July” on top.
Then, just below that, there’s a photo of a pregnant woman wearing a shirt that also says “Due in July.” You know, for those times that you’re really jazzed about giving birth in July, and you simply have to let the entire world know about it – twice.
Much tights
This young lady took a selfie of herself making a very bad decision. Her tights bear the unmistakable image of doge, a Shiba Inu dog that became an internet sensation for how surprised he looked.
“Wow, such Shiba Inu, many doge” – you know the one. Well, if seeing members of the United States Congress use the doge meme wasn’t enough to ruin it forever, seeing him used in such a blatant cash grab would probably do it. Why’d you sell out like this, doge?
Neither form nor function
We’ve already had pre-ripped jeans on the list, but have you ever seen pre-ripped shirts? You know, when prehistoric man fashioned animal hides and furs into the first clothes ever made, we’re betting he never would’ve imagined that we would shred our own clothes in the name of fashion.
The purpose of clothes was to provide warmth and protection from the elements. Later, it was also to appear attractive. This fails spectacularly on both counts. That guy’s going to be cold AND alone.
Just another day at Starbucks
There’s so much to unpack in this photo, and we promise we’ll get to the fashion. But first – why is that guy carrying a hubcap? Why is it not on his car? And if he wanted to remove it for safekeeping, where are the other three?
In any case, let’s look at his fashion choices. He went with what can only be described as pepperoni pizza tights and a Britney Spears shirt that looks at least a size too small. Umm… Can we go back to talking about the hubcap?
Oversize is in?
We assure you that the grown adult man in this photo is not slowly shrinking until he completely winks out of existence. Okay, maybe “assure” is too strong a word. We’re pretty sure he isn’t.
And going off on the assumption that it isn’t the case, just why is that coat so enormous? It could easily wrap around two people! Oversized clothes have gone in and out of fashion several times over the last few decades, but this is probably a sign to retire it for good.
Real men wear kitty spandex
Look, just because you’re the manly, bodybuilding type doesn’t mean that you don’t love itty bitty kitties. You can have it both ways, says this musclebound feline lover in his spandex, which is emblazoned with the image of a cat.
It seems like he’s attending some sort of convention, and we can’t help but wonder what its theme was. Not because we want to go, mind you, but simply because we’d really like to know where a six-foot-two muscle man wearing a kitten spandex can fit right in.
America’s over, guys
Patriotic shirts are a proud tradition in the good ol’ US of A. “These colors don’t run,” “Freedom ain’t free” – all that good stuff. This shirt, though? We’re not quite sure about it. “America,” it declares. “Stand tall and stand proud.”
A rousing message we can all get behind. Then it says “July 4,” which is also great. At the very bottom, though, it says “1776-1991.” Um, did America end right at the turn of the nineties? Was it the Gulf War that did it? This should’ve made the news.
Nirvana – the early years
Found in a clothing store in Thailand, this T-shirt proudly displays the logo of legendary Seattle-based grunge band Nirvana. Only problem is that right on top of it is the photo of a very different three-man group – Hanson.
Now, the nineties are a blur for us as much as anyone else (maybe that’s why America ended during the decade?) but we’re pretty sure Hanson and Nirvana are as far apart as any two bands could possibly be. Thinking about it, though, we kinda want MMMBop-Smells Like Teen Spirit mashup now.
Shortsoodie
There are two options and two options only when it comes to how this item of clothing came to be. One, it’s from some dark, infernal dimension where people have hands growing out of their hips.
Two, it was made by aliens for their unwitting human captives and they haven’t quite got the mechanics of the human body down yet. Those are the only two options. Our minds simply shut down at the thought that someone on this planet honestly tried to make and sell that thing.
Not your daddy’s Titanic
Okay, granted it’s been a few years since we last watched Titanic (it’s just too hard to watch Jack not get on that stupid door, there’s so much room!). However, the power ballad that served as its theme song, My Heart Will Go On, we remember perfectly.
It was the perfect vehicle to showcase Celine Dion’s powerful vocals and pitch-perfect delivery. That’s not our problem with this shirt. Our problem is that we’re pretty sure its genre wasn’t black metal.
It’s like high school all over again
These are just two guys taking in a game of some kind, wearing the official uniforms of guys that age – a polo shirt and cargo pants. That’s fair enough, to each their own.
But we do have to question the design choice that led to the creation of the shirt the guy on the left is wearing. That swirl of white towards the bottom of the shirt not only seems out of place, but also gives us unpleasant flashbacks to high school.
Almost perfect
This shirt almost made it. It really did. It was in the home stretch – it had a decent design, a cool photo, and everything. But then it slipped on the proverbial banana peel and fell right on its face.
In this particular case, said banana peel was the shirt’s designer forgetting to remove the file name of the design he used before sending the clothing item off to the printers. While it’s not the worst mistake in the world, it would still be annoying to have people constantly making recycle bin jokes at you.
Not the cat’s meow
This is probably the perfect example of a good idea brought into reality in a terrible way. These socks have a super cute little kitten on them, making them perfect for cat lovers everywhere. But hang on, don’t rush off to buy them quite yet.
When you actually use them for their intended, indeed only, purpose, they… Yeah, it doesn’t quite work. That cute little kitten from before now looks like it’s been flattened by a large vehicle, or that there’s something very wrong with it, medically speaking.
Can’t take them anywhere
This is a very rare instance of a super high-end, professionally made jersey turning out simply awful. Just imagine how much money went into designing and manufacturing these jerseys, used by the Spanish national soccer team.
Buying replica kits from official outlets will probably set you back hundreds of dollars. And for what? A shirt that looks like you had a really messy lunch at an Italian restaurant. It would’ve been funnier if this was the Italian national team, we guess, but it’s still pretty terrible.
A polo shirt from an alternate universe
We can just see you now, laughing mockingly at this cheap Chinese knockoff product that put the Union Jack above the word “USA.” But you’re missing the bigger picture. If you want our opinion, this shirt is from an alternate dimension in which the United States lost its 1776 War of Independence to Great Britain.
And even now, in 2019, it’s still nothing more than a British colony. Now, we don’t have a theory on how these shirts made it from that dimension to this one, but isn’t that better?
Everyone’s unique
First off, nothing says “Be unique” quite like a mass-produced tank-top manufactured in tens of thousands of copies. Secondly, if uniqueness is the message you’re going for, perhaps using the Minions isn’t the best of choices.
Maybe we’re too old, but don’t all of them look exactly the same and speak the same kind of unintelligible nonsense? We guess the point we’re trying to make is that by buying this tank-top, you are being everything in the world other than unique. And that’s almost unique in itself… maybe?
I Miami
We really don’t like this shirt. It isn’t the tacky “I (heart) XXX” motif, which is terrible in and of itself and worth everyone’s scorn. It’s the fact that they printed it in red, with a red heart. Now, you can see for yourself just why that was a very bad idea.
You can’t even see it, leaving you with a shirt saying, for all intents and purposes, “I Miami.” And we really don’t know what that might mean. You are the city of Miami? You’re bad at grammar? So many options.
Not optimal placement
We realize that dresses with pockets are just, like, so hot right now. We do realize that, and it’s fine. But if you’re going to have pockets on a dress, we can’t help but feel they should be functional.
This pocket, conveniently placed on the back of the person wearing it, is not. Unless you’re some kind of circus contortionist, we guess, in which case… good for you? But as far as the general population goes, this is kind of useless.
Let’s see how you like it
Okay, this is obviously intentional, and also one of the best things we’ve ever seen. Riffing off the very well-known Polo Ralph Lauren, one a polo player astride a horse, this logo flips the script to hilarious results.
Just looks at the horse, and how pleased it is with itself for finally giving the jockey a taste of his own medicine. The little guy, meanwhile, seems to be seriously regretting the decisions that have led him to this point. We can’t see the price-tag on that shirt, but whatever it is – it’s a steal at twice the price.
Heel-ception
Ask most women what the thing they absolutely hate about dressing up, and they’d say high heels. They’re uncomfortable, they’re bad for your feet AND your back, and you have to master walking on them without seeming like you’re intoxicated.
These pumps, however… What can we say about them, really? They took the heels and… replaced them with smaller versions of the entire shoe. Looking at them kind of gave us vertigo, and also nausea, because that has to be one of the ugliest pieces of footwear we’ve ever seen.
Giddy – also surf’s – up!
You know what’s super classy? Flip-flops. You know what’s really fashionable? Cowboy boots. Know what’s the best thing ever? Combining the two into one monstrosity that’s a crime against both man and God.
In what universe where “justice” is a concept that exists would these things be allowed to exist? We’re pretty sure they manage to alienate both cowboys and beach bums, by taking the worst traits of either footwear and creating something that manages to somehow be even worse. Good job, all things considered.
Hatless hat
Alright, so this isn’t technically a hat – it’s more of a visor, really. Nevertheless, our point remains – the main objective of things people wear on their heads, as we understand it, is to shade our eyes from the sun.
Even visors, while not protecting your entire head from those UV rays, at least shield your face. This visor manages to completely fail at doing any of that, while also giving the wearer a look that’s highly reminiscent of a rave in an abandoned warehouse. Glow-stick sold separately, we’re afraid.
Need to consult the dictionary on that one
So, the person who made this shirt got three words into the design before things started falling apart. And we’re being charitable here, as “photografy,” while relevant to the concept of selfie, is not spelled that way.
Either way, it’s all downhill from there, as what follows is a string of unrelated and misspelled words, some of which (like guality) don’t exist – but should. And finally, for the grand finale, the definition concludes with the phrase “Beautiful the bus train.” We don’t know what a bus train is, but we’d like to ride it.
